Seasons Greetings

I’ve wanted to pop in and say hello for a while and kept forgetting. Thank you, chemo, for the short-term memory loss. And, you know, for still being alive and all that. I have so much to update!

I’m still cancer-free. YaY! I’ve been to my oncologist, gynecologist, and my breast surgeon for regular exams and all is well. I’m still going every four weeks for the Lupron shot and taking the Femara. That’s where I’m at with all that.

I’m still volunteering with the American Cancer Society’s Relay For Life. I’ve decided not to do the golf tournament again this year. I might revisit it next year, but this year I’m volunteering for the event. The local director would like for me to be a community champion and try to recruit some teams and sponsors. I’m excited to give it a whirl. I forget that I worked in a small marketing and development role for quite some time at a previous employer. I’m excited to pull those skills out of my bag and use them again.

On a sad note, we lost another friend to cancer this year. On Halloween, our friend James passed away. He would have been 40 in January, I believe. He left behind a wife and two daughters. He was such an amazing guy, the best kind of friend. It really sucks that he’s gone. Like the sun got a little bit less bright in so many lives. It was actually kind of special that he passed on Halloween because it was his favorite time of year. If he could have picked a time to go, it would have been this time. We’ll miss him every day.

On a happy note, I just submitted my last exam for the Verified Course Sequence for BCBA certification! I still (STILLLLLLLLLL) need to finish my thesis so I can finish my Masters, but that’s okay because I need to finish accumulating my supervised independent field work hours, which will probably take me through March. I need 1500 hours and there’s a lot that comes into play with what’s acceptable for experience hours, so I end up with anywhere from 80-100 hours a month. So I’m hoping to have everything I need completed by the end of the spring semester. Then I’m going to study my butt off over the summer so I can take the certification exam. And fail. Like 900 times. Seriously, I have so much test anxiety.

No travel planned for the immediate future. Our last trip was to West Virginia, Staten Island before that. The drive was absolutely gorgeous, through the mountains. Makes me want to walk the Appalachian Trail. With a weapon, of course. For the creepers.

We went to a hockey game recently. It was Hockey Fights Cancer Night at the Stingrays. We had a really nice time and want to try to make it to some more games this season. They won, too, which made it even better! What else? My entire family was here for Thanksgiving, so that was fun. I always enjoy seeing my nieces and nephew. I’ve started a mug collection…thank you, Marshall’s. It started with one, “Make it Happen.” Then there was, “She believed she could, so she did.” And then there were cats, and Peanuts, and Nightmare Before Christmas, and…you get the picture? At less than $5 a pop, it’s hard to not buy one or two whenever I’m in Marshall’s or TJ Maxx.

Oh! Brad and I did the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk in October. We had a nice time at the event. Our friends Chanda and Ms. Beth joined us, which was great.

I feel like I’m forgetting something I wanted to share and as soon as I hit publish, I’m going to curse. I guess that’s all for now. I’ll try to pop in more frequently and share a little bit more about Life After C.

❤ Jen

Chemo Brain Revisited

Today I realized the importance of the after c part of this blog. I thought all the important stuff was in all the during posts. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

I worked this morning, then made lunch before I had to go to an appointment with my oncologist. As I was putting my sandwich together, my phone started to ring. It was one of the universities I requested information from, and I wasn’t going to answer. I wanted to eat my lunch in peace. But I hadn’t picked up the last couple times (because they always called me when I was at work), and I really wanted to talk to them, so I picked up.

So I answered, and we talked about the program I was interested in. I talked about my goals with finishing my masters, including my thesis and graduate certificate, and then my plans of taking the BCBA certification exam. I mentioned how I wanted to take next summer to focus on studying for the certification exam, and didn’t want to start any new education programs until the fall, at the very earliest, assuming I pass the certification exam on the first try.

I told the guy about how I was apprehensive about the certification exam because I still struggle to read and retain information due to chemo brain. That tiny little statement changed the entire course of our conversation. It turned out, the guy I was talking to is also a cancer survivor. He told me that he knew exactly what I meant about the chemo brain, and told me that he talked to his oncologist about it when he experienced it, and his oncologist made recommendations that assisted him in overcoming it. I won’t mention what his oncologist’s recommendations were, both because he had a totally different cancer and the actual treatment was irrelevant. The point is that just because my cancer is gone doesn’t mean there aren’t still going to be things that I should consult with my oncologist for.

I thought chemo brain was just something I was going to have to live with. I play games, try to read, and otherwise keep my brain engaged as often as I possibly can. I thought that would help exercise my brain back into shape. I didn’t know they were other options. Now I do.

And I think it’s important to share this information because other people might feel the same way. They may finish their treatment and think that there’s nothing else they need to do, or that there’s nothing else they can do, because the cancer is over. That’s simply not true. And these are things I may not have even considered if I hadn’t picked up the phone.

So at my appointment today I talked about two things. One thing was the chemo brain, for which he referred me to a neurologist. Dr. YB said the neurologist might have different activities and exercises for me to do to help alleviate the symptoms of the chemo brain. The second thing is the aching in my toes, feet, ankles, and knees. Whenever I get up after sitting for a while, I struggle to get moving and am so sore in those areas. Dr. YB knew exactly what I was talking about and said it was a side effect of the hormone blocker. He advised me to stay off it for two weeks, then resume for two weeks, and see how I feel. If it is the hormone blocker, then we may switch to Tamoxifen. So I’ll report back on that.

We talked about some other things, and I’ll share more about that in another post!

No news is good news!

Y’all. I’m so sorry it’s been over a month since my last post. Since this is a cancer blog, that’s a good thing, right? I really want to include some of the life after cancer stuff, so I’m sorry about that.

First things first (priorities!!), Barkley is doing great. He’s 12 weeks and had some more vaccines today. He’s still a maniac, and can be found at @sirbarkleyelkins on Instagram.

I’ve actually seen each of my three doctors in the last 2 weeks and everything is going great. Oncologist, breast surgeon, and plastic surgeon. I’ll be seeing them again in 3, 6, and 12 months, respectively. I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life not being dictated by doctors’ appointments anymore, with the exception of my Lupron shot every few weeks.

What else is new? Classes are finishing up and I’ll be off for the summer before starting my LAST official semester of grad school. I plan to work on my thesis this summer to wrap up my masters degree, and then take my last two classes in the fall to finish my additional graduate certificate. The end is near, and when it happens, I’ll have my Masters in Psychology with a certificate in Behavior Intervention in Autism. I feel like I’ve been going to school forever, but I love it, so it hasn’t been a hardship, it’ll just be nice to have one thing off my plate. The whole student loan payback thing is gonna suck though.

A couple things related to my recovery that I’ve been meaning to talk about…I still have no feeling in my breasts, though it is returning a little bit around the outside and working its way in. Dr H said the feeling may never fully return, but it’s interesting to see how it’s gradually coming back. Same with my belly area. On the surface, I have no feeling. It also feels really funny underneath because I can feel soreness in my abs when I workout, but that’s about it. Sometimes I can’t tell if I have a stomach ache, sore abs, or cramps because it’s so hard to determine where exactly the feeling is coming from.

Second thing is also ab related. Well, abdomen related I guess. The docs took the fat from my abdominal area on the outside of my abs. My “flab,” so to speak. So now my abs are right beneath my skin, and as I gain weight, I’ll gain it underneath them – visceral fat that hangs out around my organs. We all need some of that fat to an extent to protect our organs, but too much can be detrimental. I certainly hope to not harvest a whole bunch of that crap, and I’m working hard to lose it, but because I’m post menopausal due to my current maintenance treatment (Lupron and Letrozole combo), it’ll be more challenging for me to lose weight. That’s not going to stop me from trying though. In the last 2 weeks, I’ve dropped an inch around my waist and an inch around my hips. I’ve also lost around 5 lbs.

I had to change my nutrition plan to better suit my current needs and situation, and it’s working great for me. I’m still eating very healthy foods that I choose and I’m feeling satiated. It’s a good plan and SO easy to implement. I love it. Brad is even following it without difficulty.

Anyway, I do want to talk about the golf tournament, but I’m exhausted, so I’ll share that another day. Hope you’re all doing well!

3 more months

Another doc down! I went for my one month follow up at the plastic surgeon today. He said everything looks great. He felt around and said I don’t have any fluid build up and everything is healing nicely. Big change from the major surgery in May. BIG change. 

I go back in three months. The skin over my right nipple should be healed more by then and we’ll be able to talk about options for that, like a tattoo or possible reconstruction. 

Aside from my Lupron shots every four weeks, I don’t have another doctor’s appointment until March! Seems crazy since I have pretty much had an appointment every Monday for the past year.

Soooo, my plan is to return to Dr H in three months much thinner! I’m back to eating clean and healthy, and he said I could exercise, so I’m doing it. 100% balls to the wall exercise. I’m excited because this is the LAST TIME I’m going to experience that new exercise muscle soreness because I’m not going to stop this time. 

As Dr. YB said…I’m off to live my life!

Doc update

Nothing exciting.

He recommended half a Benadryl to help me sleep. Labs looked good. I don’t need scans unless my labs come back abnormal, so that answers that question.

And that’s it! I like those kinds of appointments. I’ll be there again in January for my shot, then my next appointment with labs is April 1. I have an appointment with Dr H for my surgery follow up in a week, and then I’ll be free from doctors for a little while!

Normal is on the horizon! 2019 is going to be a good year.

Drain free!

Can you believe I was more excited to share the info about the Relay for Life than I was to share the news that I’m drain free?! Hopefully for the last time ever!

So Dr. H pulled the last drain on Monday. He also said everything looked great, and my follow up is scheduled for one month.

It’s kind of weird to not have to see a doctor next week. Whatever will I do??

Anyway, I’ve been working hard, brainstorming some fundraising ideas. I can’t wait to get started and make some things happen. I’m also in my last full week of school. Final exams are next week. My upcoming holiday break is exciting!!

Hope you’re all doing well!

Nausea, constipation, gas, and insomnia, oh my!

I almost sound like a Pepto Bismal commercial. I’m still feeling pretty good. Still some soreness at my port site and on my ribs at the entry points for the drain tubes. I don’t have pain at my belly or chest incisions.

I’m backed up from the medications, which is incredibly frustrating. And, ironically, I take more medicine for the gas and constipation. Today, nothing seems to be working in that department though. It’s different from the last time because I was in the hospital for the days following the surgery and I didn’t have any bowel movements there, so I guess I’m not doing so bad in the grand scheme of things considering I have had a few BMs since this surgery, they’re just not as frequent as I’d like them to be, so I’m uncomfortable.

Also, just a note, I’ve had very little appetite today. I had a late lunch, ate some fruit, a cupcake, and that was it. I have been eating pretty regularly, but today was a blah day for food, which perhaps is related to the constipation.

Sleep is random. I was having insomnia before, and the only thing that seemed to help the last couple days were the pain meds and the muscle relaxer. But I didn’t take any of those during the day because I really didn’t feel like I needed them…which is good. I did take a pain pill around midnight because of the rib pain. It’s very uncomfortable, and I will be glad when those are pulled. I can’t even feel the one at my waist.

So it’s 2:30 and I can’t sleep. I’m watching more Buffy the Vampire Slayer and listening to Brad snore and slowly going insane…

I’ll update after my post-op appointment with Dr H on Monday.

Final Surgery Recap

And now for a more comprehensive recap of my surgery.

I had it at the same hospital where I had my mastectomy, so I had high hopes. Nothing went wrong, but being an outpatient was a different experience. My pre-surgery nurse was nice, but had no personality and a perma-frown. I tried to get her to talk or smile, no luck. She did interact with me, but she just never smiled. She took my vitals, asked all the right questions, and hooked up my IV. Just very straight and to the point, unlike many of the other nurses and techs I’d come into contact with throughout this journey.

Next I met the anesthesiologist, surgical nurse, and Dr. H. Then the anesthesiology nurse came and gave me chill out drugs, and took me away…while I still had my glasses on and before I could say goodbye to Brad! I don’t remember much else after that. I do vaguely recall moving from one gurney to another in the OR, but that’s it.

I woke up in recovery with a very dry mouth. I was given an anti-nausea patch before the surgery and one of the side effects was dry mouth. It lasted quite some time and I drank my usual post-op cranberry juice and had some ice chips. I tried to eat some crackers so I could take the pain meds, but my mouth was too dry so I stuck with the ice chips.

The pain has been intermittent. I have a pretty high pain tolerance, so it’s hard for me to judge exactly what it all feels like.

First off, no more port! So weird. It’s the smallest incision, but it’s the one I feel the most. That’s probably because I still had a lot of numbness in my chest and abdomen from the previous surgery.

My boobs are smaller (yay!). I’ve gained weight since the previous surgery, and since abdominal fat grows faster than other fats, my boobs gained weight. Plus, my boobs were a little too big for my liking anyway, so I’m glad they are a bit smaller. And, of course, this surgery shaped them up a bit since the flaps were removed. Remember the pic of the softball looking stitches? They are gone!

My chest is a little sore, but what’s weird is the the tube from the drains is so close to the surface. It looks totally crazy.

The incisions on my breast are just straight lines from my nipple down to my chest on each side. Pretty simple and tame looking. Right now there are steri-strips over those incisions, so once those come off, I’ll share pics. Dr. H fixed about a 10 inch stretch of my abdominal incision where the scar tissue was a little gnarly from him having to reopen it so it would heal from the inside out. That looks neat and clean, but it is also covered steri-strips.

I have three drains, one on each side of my chest and one at my waist. The ones in my chest are not producing much, but the one in my waist is. Last night was 60 ccs, this morning was 30. Each side was less than 10 this morning. I am hoping all will be pulled at my appointment on Monday, but I’ll accept whatever I can get. I certainly don’t want fountain belly again. I did not get a surgical bra or one of those tank tops that hold the drains this time, so I’ve got a sash made out of gauze that the drains are hanging from. It’s quite awkward. Last time, the drains had clips I could clip to my shirt or pants, not this time.

My appetite is fine and I have a good level of energy. I am a bit constipated from all the drugs, so I’ve been taking some kind of fiber pill to help me use the bathroom. I can’t take a shower until the drains are removed, so that’s fun. It’s a good thing I have a shower sprayer with a hose so I can clean from the waist down and wash my hair. I’ll have to use a wash cloth everywhere else. (Insert eye roll here.) I guess there has been an increase in infection related to showering with drains, so Dr. H changed his aftercare instructions. I just want to be healthy, so I’ll do whatever they say!

Not much else to report at the moment, at least nothing I can think of. I’m off work until after Thanksgiving, at which point I hope to be feeling at or close to 100%. It’s hard working with kiddos when you’re not well or don’t have full range of motion. Tomorrow, I’m going to try to go out with Brad for a little bit and do some food shopping. I’m ready to dive back into our healthy eating plan, and I figured I’d use my week off next week to get readjusted to that, even though it is the week of Thanksgiving and it seems dumb to talk about healthy eating and Thanksgiving in the same sentence. But that’s the thing about the plan he and I are following. It’s OK to take a day off or to make mistakes. It’s not going to throw us into a downward spiral of shame. It’s just one day.

So yeah, I think I’ve included everything and if you want to know more, just ask! It’s quite possible that I’ve omitted something or glazed over something else in my medicated stupor over here. You all know I’m not shy, so ask away!

Surgery is over!

All my major cancer-related crap is over! Can I get a “hell yeah?!”

Hell yeah!

My surgery was this morning, everything went well. We went a little smaller on my chest since they were a little too big before. I’m happy with the way that turned out.

Dr. H recreated a nipple on the right side, so that’s both amazing and cool. He also did the wound closure at my abdominal incision, so that looks nice and neat.

I am a bit sore and still running off the hospital anesthesia. I took a Zofran for nausea. I can’t wait to eat real food. I had a shake when I woke up from my nap, it was good and full of nutrition! I think it was just what I needed at the time, chocolate with berries.

Anyway, I’m binging on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and patiently awaiting some pizza. I’ll post more about this experience when I’m less loopy.

Coming at you live from my LAST treatment!

I can’t believe it’s been a year already and I’m done!

All is well on the doctor front. I saw all three of my docs today and everything is great. One more month to see the plastic surgeon before we schedule surgery. Also, it looks like I’ll have drains for the flap removal. Boo! And he’ll be straightening things up around the mid-section, so I’ll probably have a drain there, too. So it’ll be a slightly bigger recovery than originally planned, but it’s all good because it’s almost over!!

I’ll have more surgical info after that appointment, and I’ll share it then. Dr JB will also be there for that appointment so she’ll translate whatever Dr H says. Haha.

So good stuff here!! I’m healing and I don’t have to see my oncologist for three months. I asked him what I’m supposed to do now, and he said “live your life.” Haha, what does that even mean anymore?!?

I guess we’ll find out!!